Feeling good

Don’t Want……Do Want

When you know what you don’t want, you also know what you do want. It might sound like the most obvious thing you have ever heard in your life, but if you can really hear this statement, you can benefit from its value.

You don’t know what you want until you have experienced its opposite. This is life in a nutshell. In the living of life you are allowed to experience the whole lot of bad and good, and out of it you can decide what you like and what you would prefer to be better.

You needn’t get stuck talking about what you don’t want, but some people do it, spending years talking about what they don’t want, and getting more of the same.

The best time to find the benefit of living something unwanted is in the precise moment that you experience it. e.g

  • Don’t like being poor…….do like having lots of money.
  • Don’t like dealing with people who don’t know what they are doing…..do like working with people who are really clued up and have their eye on the ball and their finger on the pulse.
  • Don’t like living in a busy town surrounded by angry people…..do like living is a harmonious atmosphere surrounded by pleasant people.
  • Don’t like feeling rotten…..to like feeling good.

If you ever feel bad about something, if you feel bad for any reason, it is because you are in that moment looking at something you don’t want. Try to flip it on its head as soon as you can.

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Beliefs

You Are Right!

Spend no time trying to convince anybody of anything and mind your own business. There’s really no need to get into an argument with anybody, or feel that you need to justify yourself to anybody.

Everybody gets to choose for themselves. They get to focus on what they want, and they will ultimately get what they focus on. In that sense, everyone is right”

The realisation hit me hard. You are right, because you get to choose for yourself what you focus your mind upon, and have the law of attraction bring it to you.

We think, and those thoughts gather momentum, attracting other similar thoughts, which eventually become beliefs (a belief is just a well practiced thought). By the time your thoughts have become beliefs, they are ready to manifest in your real life experience.

Once I grasped this notion and started to practice it in my daily life, I stopped arguing with people about things that we disagreed with, although I did notice that didn’t stop them arguing with me.

Conversations, where I was inquiring with interest about their opinions were taken as a personal attack on their choice. They didn’t understand that they didn’t need to prove that they were right and to bring me round to their way of thinking. I accepted that they may be right (which just annoyed them), and held my own opinion just the same.

When you consider the enormity of the concept, think about how much conversation, arguing, politics, theorising we can dump in the rubbish bin. There is no ultimate truth that people are searching for. We are each individually creating our lives by our thoughts, and we get to choose whatever that is. Ignore politics (unless you want it to play a part), ignore your parents (they have no power over you, unless you choose to given them power), ignore any truths that you don’t want to experience in your life. Let’s look at a few commonly held beliefs, what we might call common wisdom, and let’s talk them around:

Life is Hard

This is not a good belief to hold. If you think life is hard, life will demonstrate to you that this is the case. Instead of making declarative statements which aren’t in your interest, why not start making statements which are more in your favour: instead of saying life is hard, start looking for, and exaggerating the reasons why life is working out for you.

It won’t turn around in a day, but your life will start to turn around as your beliefs and expectations change for the better. I have always said, that as far as the law of attraction is concerned, the only belief that one would need to live a wonderfully satisfying life is this

“Things are always working out for me, life is good to me, and wonderful things come to me at the perfect time.”

With that belief firmly set in your psyche, you could sit back and enjoy the wonderful things as they rolled in.

I Must Work (Hard) in Order to Receive Money

Most of us believe that we need to work (hard) to get money, and so we must. It is not a bad thing to work, as we all want to be productive in our lives, to offer our talents to the world and to be a part of society. If we didn’t work, most of us would struggle to make sense of life, and our part in it.

But there is a difference between working hard, and hard work. Working hard is focussed application of your mind and body to the task at hand. When you focus, you can achieve amazing things. By contrast, hard work feels like effort, is not pleasant, and it usually involves an element of trying to control situations, or to force things which are somewhat uncomfortable.

There is a sense of trying to wring more out than a situation will comfortably yield. After most of the lemon has been squeezed, you can keep going but you are not going to get much more out of the pips and the zest, and eventually your hand is going to hurt. You quickly reach a point of diminishing returns for the amount of effort you are putting in.

Effort is not where the money is. The richest people in the world couldn’t possibly justify their salaries in terms of action. They are clever, clear minded and efficient, the opposite of the overwhelmed underpaid guy who fears dismissal and who works two jobs and hardly sleeps, and only just manages to cover his rent and bills.

Successful people feel fun, feel a sense of ease. They have brought themselves to a place where they expect the good stuff to roll in, and so it does. While the most fabulously wealthy people spout a lot of claptrap about how they worked hard and struggled to reach their success, this is a lie. There is no such thing as an unhappy journey to a happy destination. How you feel at any moment is an indicator of where you’re heading, and how it will feel when you get there.

If you are going to foster any kind of belief around money, make it this: money flows to me freely and easily, and it is not related to my action. Work smart, don’t sweat it. Look around you for examples of people who are making good money and not busting a gut. Look around you for examples of people who are receiving money doing things that they love, not sacrificing their time and joy in return for financial compensation. These people exist, and you want to be one of them as soon as you can.

If it Was Fun, They Wouldn’t Pay Me to Do It

This is a phrase that piggybacks on the previous one, but cuts a little deeper. It says ‘Work is about sacrificing my joy in exchange for cash’. Does that sound like a nice phrase to you? Me either. Does that sound like the sort of thing you want to live, given the choice? Nope. But it is the way a lot of people feel.

How about those people who play for a living. DJ Chris Evans seems to be having a lot of fun, and he gets paid enormous amounts of money, professional football players are literally playing for a living and they get enormous amounts of cash, and as I watch the films that Hollywood churns out, I can’t help thinking that the people who are having the most fun are the actors and actresses on screen. Hollywood Comedy? The real joke is that we are paying them to have a load of fun and make loads of money in the process.

I’m not saying that everyone is going to be an actor or a professional football player. Fortunately the world is a more balanced place than that. Life is not the same for everybody.  Some people are very happy sweeping the roads, other enjoy working with numbers, others enjoy strategy, or working in a physical environment, outdoors.

We shouldn’t feel forced into do anything that we don’t like to do, because out there is a job which suits each of us perfectly. When you find yourself in a job which suits you perfectly, then and only then are you are going to be brilliant and amazing and display the genius that you always suspected you had, but never saw come to light.

I Can’t Eat …….. My Body Doesn’t Like It

Every year more and more books are released which talk badly about some food or other. Having experienced some shift in their energy which changed their life, which happen to be accompanied by a change in diet, they explain the physical change in relationship to the change in diet. They also proclaim that if you also undertake the same action they took, you will get the same results, if only life were that simple. But alas, it is not the action we take, but the thoughts we think which affect our lives. And as nobody knows what anybody else is thinking, there is no way we can legislate for anyone else with action. Each individual has to find their own path to the success they are seeking.

If you believe, or if you were conditioned to believe that a certain food was bad for you, then you will not benefit from eating it. If you actively look for troublesome foods to which you might have an intolerance, you are not helping yourself either. The more articles you read about links between food and bodily disfunction, the more you are shutting down your food choices unnecessarily.

This may sound to you like:

“Oh, great! So if I tell myself that I can eat burgers, ice cream and sweets all day long and that my body will be fine, then it will?”

If you believe that you can, then you can. But if you just say these words but you still believe that what you are doing is going to affect you badly, either through increased weight, or affect your health in detrimental ways, then it will affect you badly.

The universe doesn’t hear what you say, it hears what you mean; it responds to what you believe.

Rather than trying to sort out all of the thoughts you have had since you were very small; either thoughts you picked up from your mother in the womb (thoughts have a frequency we can tune into, even before we are speaking), from your parents as you were growing up, or from things you have read or seen or heard in your life to date, make a decision to act out of inspiration, instead.

Get yourself into a place where you feel really good, and then decide what you want to eat. If you are eating from a place of feeling good, you are not eating for comfort to fill a whole, and you are not feeling guilty when eating so your body can metabolise what you do eat. When you feel good, you are also inspired to treat yourself well by eating foods which you know benefit your body. When you feel good, your actions will treat you well. When you feel bad, your actions will not treat you well.

If you know that you shouldn’t be eating something, or if you believe that eating something will make you fat, then it will. You can’t get around your beliefs.

If you find yourself arguing for your limiting beliefs, ask yourself if you wound’t rather have it another way. If the answer is yes, start taking steps to change the way you look at things. You get to choose all of it, and it starts with your thoughts, your words and your actions. Whatever you think and believe will be reflected back to you. You are right! The question is, what do you choose?

The next time someone tried to engage you in some kind of argument, expressing what they believe, there’s no need to get entangled, just say to them, “You may be right”.

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Self Guidance

Why is Life So Arbitrary?

I try to feel as good as I can, as much of the time as possible, but I am frequently pulled back into the maelstrom which is ‘The Real World’. Feeling good takes practice and it takes focus, and the real world is minefield of issues, stories and unwanted subjects that we are tempted to focus upon, to the detriment of our emotional state.

I’m definitely somebody who cares about the planet, and about other people, and I tend to take what I see as injustice very seriously. Sometimes I feel like the knight in shining armour who has come to the rescue and save the underdogs from their big, bad, oppressive overlords.

It is all too easy for me to get caught up in a battle with big business and some perceived oppressor, until I remember there is nothing to be outraged about. Life is perfectly fair to each and every one of us; it responds to how we feel, and nothing more.

A number of things have struck me recently as quite appalling to the point that I would describe them as fundamentally wrong in the current world system, and like so many others I cannot understand how people get away with their appalling, illegal and often criminal behaviour without so much as a public ticking off.

Is there no consistency anymore? Is everything in life so arbitrary? Does the rule of law apply differently to different people?

And the answer to all of these questions is a resounding YES!

The world responds to individuals according to how they feel; nothing more and nothing less. This is the reason why fear has proven to be such a powerful weapon in coercing and controlling the masses over time, and the reason why those who rise above their base instincts and feel good regardless of conditions will always be free in mind and therefore free in body, and will never come to any harm. (More about this later)

Every man is free because he has the capacity to think for himself, and the only thing that matters is how a man thinks.

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7).

Lets’ look at a few examples and ask ourselves the fundamental questions : Is life so arbitrary? Why is there no consistency?

It’s All about Economics

The world is all about economics. Every single bit of it is Economics. Politics isn’t really about Politics, it is really about Economics. Religion is also about Economics, it might have some small basis in Spirituality, but if you could ask Jesus now what he thought of Religion, I’m pretty sure he would say something like…..”yeah, that’s not really what I had in mind”.

Charity isn’t about saving the poor or the hungry, it is about Economics. Environmentalism isn’t about saving the planet, it is about Economics (if you are interested in an alternative view to man made global warming, I recommend you buy: Let Them Eat Carbon by Matthew Sinclair and Watermelons: How Environmentalists are Killing the Planet, Destroying the Economy and Stealing your Children’s Future by James Delingpole, two very insightful alternative takes on environmentalism, and who it benefits)

Economics lies at the centre of everything in life because life is about individuals working in self-interested ways. Capitalism is the most effective means of organising society, because it closely matches individuals’ selfish desire to do the best for themselves.

In this regard, the notion of an altruistic individual is an oxymoron. A person who enjoys helping others, does so for their own selfish gain. Someone who gives their money away, does so because they think that it will in some way benefit them to do so. Think about pensioners in church who are motivated to give generously into the collection tray, and you understand the economics of religion, and why it is set up the way it is.

The global financial system is in a mess. Our debt based money system favours the money creators, and everyone else be damned. But none of this ridiculous nonsense need affect you, dear reader.

People can and do thrive in recessions, and even in global economic downturns, but they cannot give their attention and hence their creedence to things which are unwanted without living those conditions themselves. The individual who thrives in a recession has convinced himself that he can do well, regardless of the market. If he knows he will be doing good business, the world will show him what he knows. If he focusses on bad times and convinces himself he is screwed, then he is screwed.

What Happened to the Rule of Law?

Do you want to know why individuals and organisations which blatantly break the law, commit fraud, steal money from their clients, and deliberately deceive to extract ‘fees’, get away scot free without so much as a court summons, while others are hauled over the coals for a minor misdemeanour? It’s because they expect to get away with it, and you always get what you expect in life.

After many years of zero accountability, the City of London financial district has become a safe haven for the dodgiest of the dodgy to do business. There is a ‘free for all’ attitude to criminality in the City, by both the companies who operate there, and their clients, and the police and the government turn a blind eye to those who work the money markets as if they were organised crime families operating a giant casino; too big to jail.

The Government and its legislators, as well as the media are bought and paid for by banking and private financial institutions; many of those who work in prominent media positions are on the payroll at the banks, and the politician who plays his cards right and doesn’t upset anyone, upon leaving office can expect a lucrative role in the world of business as a non-exec director. You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours. There is clearly a conflict of interest when it comes to unbiased reporting, unbiased policy making and especially with regards to enforcing the rule of law.

Of course, the government could take a stance against the criminal behaviour in banks and financial institutions, it could make an example of their behaviour and clean up the city of London, but the reality is, we have an economy which is a house of cards, based upon a massive debt bubble, and a lot of that money inevitably flows the government’s way.

We have debt upon debt upon debt upon debt, and nobody wants to rock the boat. The financial system will fail again soon, I predict late 2015 / early 2016. After which we may have the option to set things up differently. Watch this space.

Does Impartial Exist

So where do we go for impartial information? Who can we  trust? Media funding is clearly an issue, as was recently highlighted when Peter Oborne resigned from the Daily Telegraph over the HSBC conflict of interest. The Guardian Media Group is a loss making business, but it is the best of a bunch of heavily biased British Newspapers. The rest of the papers are owned by a small band of wealthy individuals with their own agendas to promote, and many of them work with big banking and finance.

So when their mates at the banks go ahead and commit financial crimes, or get up to something dodgy, there is a conflict of interest and the story is not reported. The choice is clear: publish the truth; lose the advertising account, or ignore the story and keep the revenue stream alive. There is little truth in the newspapers, best stick to the Comment Section or better yet, the alternative press.

At the end of the day, people know which side their bread is buttered, and will act in their own interests. You can’t blame them for it, just be aware that it is going on, and adjust your behaviour, thoughts and opinions accordingly. And for goodness’ sake, don’t believe everything you read. If it resonates with you, it’s true. If it doesn’t, drop it. Just as you wouldn’t go up to your Boss and tell him The Truth about his too-tight, half-mast trousers and appalling halitosis, a newspaper is not likely to bite the financial hand that feeds it.

Given this state of affairs, I am surprised that anyone bothers reading the mainstream press; it is riddled with ulterior motives and conflicts of interest, and that’s with newspapers people pay money for. How bad must the free ones be? Paid for by advertising money? Yes. Impartial? I very much doubt it.

Let’s Get this Straight – People are Selfishly Oriented

Bankers are not acting in your best interest, they are acting in their own. Journalists and other media creators are not acting in your best interests, they are acting in their own. If someone’s best interests are to help others, then others may benefit in part, but not before the instigator does. The government is not acting in your best interest they are acting in their own. Even your parents even are not acting in your best interest, they are acting in their own.

“Well then, who is acting on my best interests?”

That’ll be you. So make sure you do!

Let’s take this website for example, if you are reading these words, if you have made it this far down the page you can count yourself as one of a very small, privileged group. If you are reading this in February 2015, you may be the sole person who has read this article apart from me when I wrote and edited it.

You might ask why I bother writing for such a small audience? Running a website costs money, and writing takes time and effort. What do I get back in return? Many things. The pleasure of expressing myself in the written word is enormously satisfying and reward enough. I want to get the word out there, and allow those who want this information to find it. If this article touches one seeking individual in the way that I hope that it might, then all of my efforts will be worth it. Just because this information is leading edge with narrow appeal, it doesn’t make it any less valuable. Indeed to those who are seeking this discussion, this information is a personal goldmine. But most won’t recognise the value of what is being said and pass it up.

The subject of self-empowerment is the growth area of this millennium. It may not be popular yet, but in the next ten or fifteen years, everybody will know about Law of Attraction; about how to create lives that they want, and the significant injustice in the world will disappear, and people will stop fighting from their powerless emotional state of being. When people realise that they are in charge of their lives, they will uplift themselves through their own efforts, and stop looking outside of themselves for government, or any other help.

If you want to help the world, uplift it to the understanding that people get what they think about. Teach them that they cannot feel victimised and be treated other than a victim.

People want to understand this, they want to see how they can effect their lives in positive ways. In presenting this information I want others to stop being angry about their perceived lack of power, and come to the same realisation that I have come to about their ability to affect any change they desire. When you try to sort it out in any other way, you run into a brick wall.

For the benefit that I add to their lives, I expect to receive benefit myself in equal measure. Cash, advertising revenue, affiliate revenue for the products I recommend, as well as writing work and public engagements. Make no mistake, I’m doing this for me. This is who I am, this is who I was born to be. You couldn’t stop me from doing it, even if I was paid nothing to do it. I’m not some do-gooder pouring my soul out for the benefit of mankind. I’m doing this because it benefits me.

Tax and the Law

Given the understanding that people are selfishly oriented, it is easier to understand why they will always do the best by themselves. Isn’t it funny how the poorest people pay the most tax and the richest people pay the least? Just as the rich bankers get away with defrauding to the tune of billions of pounds, while others are sent to prison for minor theft. You might think that a society which really understood economics might be interested in increasing the cashflow for the many, in dividing out the money so that it can be shared with the rest of society, but alas it wouldn’t work.

Individuals attract their own individual realities. Many individuals may be viewed as a large whole, but they are each living an individual life experience tailored to their emotions and what they expect to receive in life. If they choose to read the press or watch television they will find themselves thinking and believing what they are told to think and believe.

You get what you think about, whether you want it or not. Society trains our thoughts according to what it sees as appropriate. We might feel poor, and put upon, and we might look to those in authority and berate them for their lack of care. We might look at the injustice of the wealthy who can do whatever they want.

An outsider looking in might see a system where the rich man controls the poor man, where the rich man gets to ride roughshod over the law while the poor man gets dumped upon by government and the police. It’s far simpler than that. Both individuals are attracting to themselves individually, and they are getting what they thinking and what they believe.

The rich man is rich because he feels rich. He is powerful because he feels powerful, and he soars above the laws and rules and regulations because in his world he has found a way to find a place of balance and ease with regard to these things, so they do not concern him. If you feel powerful, you don’t pay the law much heed. He has found alignment with what he is doing. Maybe he has found a really good lawyer, maybe he knows someone or something which makes him feel better about what he is doing. If he feels good, regardless of what he is up to, then the world has to treat him accordingly.

Earlier on I said that fear has been used as a strong and powerful force to control people. This is true. Let me explain why. The only thing that can harm you in life is feeling bad.  You could waft through life feeling as good as a newborn baby, and you would live a wonderful experience. So things which you might think are dangerous or out to get you can do you no harm as long as you don’t give them your attention. Pointing out to your children things which could harm them doesn’t he them, instead it makes them think about (and therefore attract to themselves) things they don’t want into their lives.

Let’s take two examples of typical transgressions and look at them from the perspective of Law of Attraction:

1. Breaking the Speed Limit

The individual who breaks the speed limit and feels OK about what he is doing, remains inspired to impulses about what to do in order to get what he wants (avoid the policeman’s attention, and enjoy the thrill of speeding). If he is driving along feeling excited, feeling powerful and feeling fun, he is aware of the slight impulse to slow down, and as he does so he rounds the corner to find a policeman with his radar gun.

The happy speeder is clear minded, tuned into his sixth sense and he can feel the impulses from within. He senses things coming up and adjusts his behaviour accordingly. He is inspired to take an alternative route which misses out the hazard altogether, or he finds himself in the right place at the right time.

Then we have the speeder who speeds guiltily. He might be guilty for speeding, or he may feel bad for another reason. He may be angry, or depressed or feel put upon, he may just be having a bad day. His mind is not so clear. In fact he cannot hear any of the subtle messages that are coming from within to guide him towards action which will give him what he wants (to avoid the police).

He misses the cues, and ends up bumping straight into the police, and is given a ticket. If he had felt better, things would have turned out better for him. You get how you feel, and a feeling of guilt means that you are on your way to getting collared, in one sense or another.

So, if you weren’t really concerned about breaking the numerous laws of this land, they wouldn’t really apply to you. You could choose to operate as you saw fit, and nobody could touch you. You would navigate your way through life, being inspired to the things you were inspired to. This is why training children to feel guilty about life, is setting them up fro trouble.

If you like going fast, do all your speeding when you’re in a really good mood.

2. Theft

There are people who take things from other people. It’s not very nice, but it does happen. The thief who is a good thief, is a sensitive individual, and similar to the example above, he is guided to his actions and inner impulses. He feels good about doing what he is doing. While the guilty thief gets caught, the happy thief has made a decision about what he wants and has lined up his energy about it (feels good about it). As he feels good, he is aware of his internal guidance and follows the cues as and when they come to him.

You may not realise that there are people out there who feel good about all sorts of transgressions, they don’t feel at all guilty about them, and as a result they have never been caught. It might make you feel vulnerable, but remember, you can feel as good or as bad as you choose, it’s up to you. Take your power from this, don’t use it to make yourself feel vulnerable.

All that matters is that you are aligned with whatever you are doing, and it will turn out well.

You see, it’s actually not the rich people’s fault they are rich. They feel rich, and they are inspired to actions which give them what they’re selfishly seeking. That may be; to maximise their income via any appropriate means they have available to them; including tax havens and morally dubious accounting (morally dubious doesn’t mean illegal, and who gets to set the standard for anyone else’s behaviour anyway?)

Make your Own Rules

“You get what you think about” is a profound statement. If you will ponder it for some time, you will realise that all power lies with you and what you choose to give your attention to. Think about things that feel good to you, and never mind things that don’t.

If you push against things that you don’t want, or you perceive that other people are asserting themselves into your life, they aren’t, but by thinking about them, you are asking for them yourself.

You have two choices in life:

1. You can look outside of yourself for guidance. You can read the press, listen to the government and the laws and accept what they tell and accept what you receive from them.

2. You can look inside yourself for your own guidance, decide what you want to live and focus upon it, and follow your inspiration towards what you want. Never mind anybody else.

 

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Politics

5 Reasons Not to Vote

They fought and died to bring you the right to vote. Surely it’s a crime to not pay a visit to the polling station on voting day?

Not really. Having the right to vote and not using it is your decision. That was then, and this is now. Things have moved on significantly, and in modern life, politics has become so irrelevant, that it almost makes no difference which party is in power.

Nobody upholds the law any more. Banks and big business = politics, and money influences politicians and their policies today more than ever before. If politicians actually had some courage to do the right thing for the country, people might be interested in what they have to say. But when it is clear they are more interested in re-election, we lose interest.

Politicians would have you believe that they are all powerful, holding the strings of control over your every ‘puppet-like’ move, but in reality they are about as significant as a very small flea on the back of a very large elephant.

If it makes you feel good to vote, then by all means do it; it is clearly the path of least resistance for you to do so, but if you’re being hassled by your peers, friends and parents to vote even though you don’t feel the inspiration, I offer you 5 reasons not to vote.

1. Regardless of Which Party you Choose, Politicians make the Rich Richer and the Poor Poorer

I don’t doubt that when they get into the business, politicians have aspirations to make the world a better place, but very quickly they get bogged down in ‘the game’ that is politics.

Politicians speak the language of politics, they are not really interested in communicating in a way that ordinary members of the public can understand.

Instead they speak in a manner that appeals to other politicians. They speak in sound bites, in political platitudes, and we the public feel like children who aren’t being given the whole story.

If a fresh new, idealistic politician enters the hustings, and he has ideas which supersede those of the party line, he must back down or be ejected from the party; if a principled individual enters politics and finds a bunch of heavily unprincipled individuals who are more interested in feathering their own nests than serving the country and doing what is right, either he will fit in or he won’t last very long.

The same applies to working in any large organisation; we accept the culture and exhibit it in our daily dealings with others, or we go elsewhere. The tacit rules of the game are: Don’t think for yourself, play the game, and toe the party line.

Political parties are all the same; largely ineffective, self interested and in the pockets of banking and big business which fund them. Don’t look to them to sort your life out (unless you’re a rich banker or a CEO of a big business), because they don’t work for you, they work for those with money. Politics is about money.

As Bill Bonner states in the interview below, Politics is about selling the idea that politicians can create a better world for the people. Politics has never added one single penny to the GDP of any nation. It is the private sector that creates wealth. Politicians take it and redistribute it, mostly to themselves and the favourite industries that they have and the people who support their campaigns. Do you want to support such a crooked system?

There are a minority if highly principled MPs who are keen to push through real changes which improve social situations the political way, but they are on the extremities of the established political culture (which is centred on self-interested actions to get re-elected, and not about serving the people or doing what is right) and so they don’t get a look-in to the decision-making process. The political way is not a path of least resistance, it is a path full of resistance, and pushing against.

2. Politics is a Sideshow

The real issues of the day are always masked by politicians, and their media monkeys who are experts at dodging questions and diverting attention. The magician’s sleight of hand is nothing on the politicians ability to distract the public from the reality of the situation, let alone their contribution to it.

All sorts of appalling (and illegal) behaviour is going on and is being ignored by governments who act in ways to protect those who fund them. Don’t put your name to it by voting for any political party, abstain and show the MP’s who’s really in charge.

People feel that a hung parliament is a bad idea. I disagree. Given the broad range of ideologies in modern society, a hung parliament with proportional representation seems a very sensible way to organise ‘the admin bods’.

Hopefully their diffused nature will mean fewer ridiculous controlling statute laws coming out of Westminster, and more attention to what is really important like upholding the rule of law, and organising public services and infrastructure, and managing public finances responsibly.

3. Vote for Politics 2.0

Instead of the current mess, why not vote for accountability, transparency, and truth. As has been demonstrated by George Galloway’s decision to crowd fund his campaign for Mayor of London, there are new ways of doing things emerging in the political arena, and it has nothing to do with what we are spoon-fed by the press. The power belongs to the people, we just need to give our attention to what we want in order to move things forward.

Rather than the old system, where are asked to pick from a list of people we don’t like and who don’t know what they are doing, the crowdfunding option involves voting for who we want to represent us.

If enough people put their cash forward to get a campaign up and running, only then will the candidate stand, and stand accountable to their funders. This is funding by the people, for the people, not by big business and the politically entrenched banking and financial sector.

4. Turn the Other Cheek

Withdrawing your attention from something removes its power.

Terrorist groups like ISIS survive, grow and even manage to lure disenchanted young men and women into their folds, because they receive so much press coverage. They shock the world and get the press attention they need to survive, and their message of terror spreads along with their growing power and influence.

The press is either too stupid or (more likely) unable to pass up on the story, and in their attention to it, the problem grows bigger. If we could ignore them, like a crazy person ranting in public, they would eventually stop what they are doing, and go away.

The same goes for Politics. Don’t let your fear that some crazy Nazi party is going to get into government force you to give your time and attention to politicians.

Focus on something you can change about your life, don’t look to politics as an excuse for why you haven’t achieved your success. It is an excuse, but a pretty crappy excuse nonetheless. Take your attention away from politics and the media, and watch their influence and power in your life wane. They are only as important as you make them by your attention to them.

5. Stop Listening to the Propaganda and Wake Up!

As long as you think that the government, or anyone else, is going to sort you, you’re barking up the wrong tree. Owen Jones’ book The Establishment is an elucidating read. The sooner you put the fallacious notion that’s a government or any well meaning organisation is going to save you from your wretchedness, the better. The government has an agenda and I’m afraid it doesn’t involve you.

The government serves insolvent zombie banks and big business, as do the majority of the mainstream media. There are a few bastions of truth remaining, but they tend to be individuals like Jones, rather than papers or media channels. Seek out sources of information which ring true to you, not what is presented on the BBC or CNBC. They will feed you the big business, banking sector and the government’s agenda.

Also, read books. Books hold a great deal of truth to those who seek it, and are publishable by anyone with a will to do so, and the presence of mind to gather their thoughts. You don’t need to be sponsored by the banking sector to publish news stories in book form.

Please don’t think I’m bashing politicians. I see them as important in some elements if life, but they have got way bigger than their boots. I don’t see them relevant in my life, certainly not in their current bent state. They are close to becoming superseded.

If Polticians continue to gloss over the truth, ignoring the bleeding obvious, they will continue to lose credibility and will eventually fall by the wayside.

Of course there are those out there, mostly disempowered people, who look to politicians and the state welfare systems to provide them with their needs. But you, dear reader, by virtue of the fact that you have read this far, are no longer one of those.

You know so much more, and you are ready to take charge of your life, and to do things your way. We give others power by fostering a belief that they hold power over us. But as we ignore them and focus on what we want, we see how insignificant they truly are in the grand scheme of things.

Laws exist, but they apply very differently to different people, and they are enforced arbitrarily. As I state in my essay “why is life so arbitrary”, some people break the (criminal) law on a national scale and get away without even a slap on the wrist, while others who commit minor infractions get dragged over the coals.

Do you want this system to sort you out? If so, look to the government to legislate on your behalf by voting for it.

If, however, you suspect you are not being told the truth, and want to take control of your own life, if you want to follow your own path, mind your own business and never mind anyone else’s.

Bless the politicians in their administrative service to the country, let them go their separate way, as you yourself go yours.

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Parenting

If Positive Training works with Dogs, why not Human Beings?

Last weekend I visited Crufts at the Birmingham NEC. For those of you who haven’t heard of it, Crufts is the largest and most prestigious dog show in the world. While the prize money is pretty low, the prestige that comes from winning best of breed, or best in show will increase the value of any puppies that breeders produce from champion dogs.

I found the whole experience fascinating. I don’t own a dog myself, but I have grown up with them and I appreciate them enormously. Some friends are thinking about getting a dog, so we visited the show with them, and they arranged to meet a lady who breeds the type of dogs they are interested in owning (she won ‘best puppy’ of her particular breed, which should add a healthy premium to any puppies she sells in the near future).

Entrants bring them dogs in cages and they sit in long lines waiting for their chance to be shown, whereupon someone judges the condition and attributes of the dogs to pick a winner.  A great many of those showing dogs are  breeders, and people travel from all over the world to compete. This year’s winner from 21,000 canines is a Scottish Terrier named Knopa, she won her handler Rebecca Cross a prize of £100.

I sat and watched a number of demonstrations, so breeds were shown ranging from the English toy terrier (like a miniature Doberman) to the frankly enormous Great Dane. Then some people came out and demonstrated something called agility, where dogs jump over jumps, run through tubes, up and down A frames and weaving through a series of poles.

The lady who was talking about the process agility explained that the dogs are praised when they do it right, and never told off for doing it wrong. This is positive reinforcement training, encouraging the dogs to please their owners to either receive a food ‘treat’, some praise, or to play with their favourite toy. Immediately the thought struck me, “They are happy to use positive training on dogs, but why not human beings?”

When young, babies get a lot of lea-way. They are cute and they make cute noises. They can’t do very much for themselves and so we help them out and do whatever they want; feed them, wipe their bottoms, brush their little teeth and carry and push them around. At this stage we are happy to use positive reinforcement, we accept that thy are learning the basics.

But at some point things turn. I’m not sure exactly when it happens, probably when the child’s total dependence on the child starts to disappear and the insecure parent feels resentment at no longer being needed. The child starts to express its individuality, and the parent child relationship needs to split in a healthy way.

The parent, rather than trying to positive train the child instead starts to point out the things that the child is doing wrong. If negative training works with animals, then why would human’s be any different? Children, like animals gravitate more naturally towards things which feel good. They are closer to their Source; closer to God, not having been knocking around on Earth for as long as we adults.

There is a lot made of how ridiculous dog shows are, and the dog ‘handlers’ claim that the dogs love it, they are not prone to sulking, being instead determined to live happy lives, not taking on responsibility, or exposing themselves to thoughts which produce stress in their bodies, or other bad feeling emotions. They make the best of things, and will play for as long as you are willing to play. Children are the same, and it serves them well. Adults could be the same, if they maintained their playfulness into the adult lives, but alas they feel the terrible weight of responsibility bearing down on their shoulders.

Children want to focus on things which feel good, like dogs, and are inspired to those thoughts, feelings and actions. It’s time we focussed on what our children are doing right, and ignore what we think they are dong wrong.

 

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Your Life's Purpose

Man’s Relationship with God

At the Basis of All Religions is the Same Thing: Love

Spiritual teachers throughout the ages, from Buddha to Muhammad to Jesus have all essentially been saying the same thing, trying to explain man’s relationship with God. They spoke in different languages and at different periods in history to explain what they meant to their audience, soother messages differ someone. Over the years as religions have formed from these powerful ideologies, their power has been used to control and coerce people, and in the process much of the original truth has been lost. Continue reading

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Feeling good, Relationships, Your Life's Purpose

Mind your Own Business

Want to live a happy life? Simple: Mind your own business. If you find yourself in any kind of emotional discomfort, this is usually a stronger than normal indicator that you are not minding your own business. Continue reading

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Perception

Is the Dress Blue and Black or White and Gold? #thedress

So, last week we had Dressgate, where #Thedress went viral and caused quite a twitter in the social media world, reminding us that all in life is not always what it seems. Continue reading

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Palmistry, Relationships

5 Things you can Tell about Somebody by Shaking Hands

If you were to ask people who have been in business a while what makes a successful businessperson, they will usually tell you two things;

1) Communicate as well as you possibly can, and
2) Keep your customers happy

They might not admit it, but a lot of people see business as a zero sum game, where they must scrap it out with others for the potential benefits available. In their highly competitive world, there is no room for mutual benefit. And yet, if there is not room for mutual benefit, then people have lost before they have even started. A business which doesn’t add to the greater good or benefit other people won’t last very long.

To keep your customers happy, or to find new ones, you need to able to understand the people you are dealing with, which involves being able to communicate with them effectively enough to see who they are; a person’s background, their intentions and their level of sensitivity all inform a tailored approach to engagement. What I’m saying is the essence of good business is communication.

The individual who has the ability to understand his customers and clients stands a far better chance of not only keeping them happy, but more importantly of finding harmonious business partners to work with in the first place.

A mismatched relationship can be pushed through to some sort of acceptable conclusion, but it won’t be mutually beneficial, it won’t be pretty and the results of the interaction won’t be long lasting.

The relationship ultimately ends in ‘divorce’, and each of you go your separate ways, disgruntled about the other’s behaviour. There was nothing wrong with either party, you just weren’t right for each other and couldn’t see it. Life works more smoothly when we find and work with people who are harmonious to our characters and our business aspirations.

93% of what you are saying is non-verbal

In the world of business, a great deal of importance is placed upon what is said, but as the majority of communication (as much as 93%) is non-verbal, shouldn’t we be trained to place a little more emphasis on the things that we and others don’t say?

I am of course talking about Body Language. The problem with body language, to those of us who don’t speak it, is that it is very hard to fake. We naturally and unconsciously show who we are to the world, we ‘exhibit’ externally how we ‘feel’ internally. Bill Clinton, when asked to testify about his “sexual relations with that woman” was exhibiting all of the body language of a liar, and to anyone well versed in the language, it was blatantly obvious. The rest of the world was listening to what he was saying.

A confident man in easy to spot; he walks with his shoulders back and his chest puffed out, his spine is erect and his chin is up. He smiles easily and genuinely, and makes direct eye contact with others as he does so. He strides forward with purpose as if on his way to his next important appointment, exuding a presence of authority that is attractive to others looking in. Without saying anything, he had said everything that we need to know; he is a winner, someone we want to be dealing with.

It is equally easy to spot a man who lacks confidence, he looks limp with a failing skeleton under his flaccid flesh, he shuffles about as if in no really hurry to go anywhere, because he is going nowhere. Head hanging low, he is permanently fixated on the pavement. Hands in pockets or even crossed across his chest to protect himself in his perceived feeling of vulnerability. His shoulders are hunched forwards and up into his neck. He is avoiding eye contact with anybody he comes across; he cannot even bear to look at puppies and grandmothers. He is at the bottom of the food chain, and he knows his place. Rather than a genuine smile, the best he can manage is a fearful grimace. He looks uncomfortable in his skin, like he is trying to curl up into a ball like a hedgehog until the ‘danger’ passes. He hasn’t said anything, and really he doesn’t need to. The world can see he feels like a failure, and people don’t want to associate with him.

Our body language is, of course, an external manifestation of how we feel, and as how we feel is also what we manage to achieve in life, people are naturally drawn to those who exhibit externally the attributes of success, even if they haven’t yet achieved it. A confident man is successful because he is confident, and not confident because he is successful. To individuals adept at ‘reading’ other people, words are the least important thing they are saying.

Can you Be Other than you Feel?

If you study body language, you can train yourself to overcome your natural tendencies to exhibit undesirable body language, but you need to be consciously aware of what your body is saying, and deliberately counteract your natural subconscious impulses, which can be a difficult task when your mind has so many other things to think about.

I frequently see people who work in sales, even sales directors making fundamental faux-pas in body language (for example, crossing their arms tightly across the chest in introductory meetings with potential customers), and I wonder why they are not given even the most basic training to identify the non-verbal cues to make their case a better one.

It is understandable that a sales person may feel uncomfortable selling something they don’t really understand, but if they exhibit poor body language, their interaction is largely a wasted effort. As I see it, they have two choices available to them:

1) Learn more about the product being offered for sale until they do feel comfortable, or
2) Work on their body language so that at the very least they don’t come across as awkward or uncomfortable in front of clients.

The basics of body language should be understood by all in business: In a cooperative meeting of two people who are looking to mutually benefit each other in some transaction, the success of their interaction rests upon their compatibility as equal partners. If you want to drive this point home, you need to understand and apply the basics: in this regard I recommend the brilliant book: The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease, for a basic grounding. It also explains clearly why ex-President William Clinton was lying at his impeachment trial.

There are a number of things you can discover about somebody the first time you meet them, and as is customary in the UK, shake their hand.

Here are five things you can look for when meeting others, and use to tailor your meeting approach accordingly.

1. The Orientation of Your Palm

The palm down gesture, as used by Hitler over his subjects, is a blatantly dominant gesture. The palm up gesture, as used by those begging for money or those trying to indicate openness in dealing with others, is a submissive gesture. Somewhere in the middle is the vertical palm of equality, something those who seek mutual benefit in an interaction will demonstrate.

If, when you shake hands with someone, they try to ‘gain the upper hand’, by twisting your hand so that their palm is on top of yours and your palm is facing up, you may be dealing with a power player who wants to send out a very clear message about your interaction. This is the sort of thing you might get from a neighbour who has just moved in next door, or someone who wants to take charge of your first encounter or to set the tone for your relationship moving forwards.

If you prefer equality in your dealings with others, such as you might expect in business, and someone plays this power move on you, you can reinforce your single handshake by bringing in your left hand, and attempting to ‘right the relationship’ from the outset by moving your hand into the vertical orientation; communicating that you want things to remain on a more level playing field.

If you want to convey a submissive stance, such as if you were apologising to someone, you might choose to adopt the palm up gesture. In most business interactions, a fair & balanced handshake is preferable for both parties; the premise of your interaction is that you are able to mutually benefit each other. If there’s more than that involved, and you dislike political power plays, then it might be time to find someone else to deal with.

Of course, people who are very good at body language can use their body language to lie, by giving out impressions of submissiveness, or openness to later go on to deliberately deceive you, but on the whole people are genuine and their bodies don’t lie. Equally if you are open and honest with others, those you interact with will tend to behave similarly.

2. The Firmness of Your Handshake

Given that some people use the handshake as a power play to assert their dominance over others from the off, it is not surprising that we sometimes encounter an overcompensating vice-like grip on shaking hands. For women, or those out there who enjoy using their fingers for dextrous activities such as playing the piano, such shows of strength are not appreciated, and if you get a shake like this expect either an insensitive individual with a clumsy but powerful approach to business, or someone overcompensating for other weaknesses.

Unless you are deliberately trying to come across as the dominant player, you should be looking to match your hand shaking partner’s grip in strength, and this will vary from person to person, so you will need to feel your partner’s shake and match it. If you use a very dominant almost crushing grip in your handshake with others, and fail to back up your bravado with words, you will look like a fraud; all show and no go.

If when shaking hands, your partner provides no resistance whatsoever; if you get the wet fish or the bunch of carrots then at least you were paying attention when you shook hands, and will have gathered enough to say that the other person lacks confidence, and may be limp or something of a pushover in negotiations. Again you may choose to tailor your approach to the intuition accordingly, or find someone else to deal with.

3. The Warmth and Moisture of your Hands

If you are nervous about an upcoming interaction, let’s say you are going into an important meeting or to a job interview, you might find your hands becoming cold and clammy as the blood supply to them is withdrawn and your palms start to sweat under pressure.

If you have this problem yourself, carry a handkerchief and keep your hands in dry and warm condition ready for when you shake hands with your business partners. If, upon shaking hands with another, you find their handshake limp, cold or clammy, they will not be projecting a confident, inspiring attitude. It’s a poor first impression that is easily avoided by putting your hands in your pockets to warm them up and frying them prior to meeting or parting.

If you can, visit the bathroom and wash and dry your hands. If you’re lucky they may still have a gloriously inefficient but life giving Warner Howard World Dryer to warm your hands up ready for your encounter.

2348aedc-5268-4568-a469-28a12c8947e2

The Warner Howard World Dryer – The Original and Classic Dryer and a friend to Cold Clammy Hands.

 

 

4. The Texture of Their Skin

Our skin is the barrier through which we interface the world. The hands have an enormous amount of nerve endings, represented in the brain’s grey matter, and so our hands hold a great deal of information about what’s going on in our brains; what we are thinking as well as our innate natures. The condition of our nails, our specific dermal fingerprints, the length of our fingers, and how many rings we wear and where we choose to wear them, say a lot about us.

Many people think that skin texture is a function of career choice, and there may be some truth to that; if you choose to work with your hands you are more likely to develop calluses. But in reality, it is actually the other way around; the individual with coarse or grainy skin interfaces with the world at a more physical level, so a physical job outdoors is more their natural realm.

Someone with very delicate, almost silky skin, is extremely ‘touchy feely’; incredibly sensitive to the outside world. They can pick up on the slightest inference in vocal expression to read a situation and can ‘feel’ the mood or atmosphere of an interaction regardless of what is being said. Their sense of smell and taste is more acute, and they have a lower threshold for physical pain, preferring cerebral activities to those of a rough physical nature.

In business interactions, thin skinned people tend to be, well thin-skinned; sensitive to brash comments and bold displays of power or aggression, they may even find these situations bullying, uncomfortable or embarrassing. Typically having already read between the lines, they consider overt displays unnecessary or superfluous.

Needless to say, if you meet someone with soft hands (and they are predominantly found on women), they will be more intuitive, more sensitive to the situation you find yourselves in, and will not appreciate overbearing language, either verbal or body language. Sadly not everyone has the ability to discern understanding from the finer points of an interaction.

If, when you meet someone, they have very coarse skin on their hands, you are likely dealing with someone who is far less sensitive. Thick-skinned people may need a more direct approach in communication, if you are not the best communicator, you may need to SPELL IT OUT FOR THEM, or explain it to them in terms that they can understand. As they tend to inhabit a physical world, they find words less appealing than action, so finding an example via an analogy that they can relate to, would be useful.

Those with coarse and grainy skin on their hands will want to get on and do things, rather than sit there and think about options. You will tend to find them working outside, in a dynamic, hand-on role job where physical work is part and parcel of their daily activities. They have a much higher threshold to physical pain, enjoy being in the elements and ca tolerate ‘strong words’. They certainly won’t enjoy life stuck behind a computer screen, they’re better off located in a site based office.

5. The Size of their Hands

If skin texture indicates how people interface with the world, their fingers tell us about how they process information. In general, the longer the fingers the longer the thought processes. The fingers tend to mimic body shape; tall people with long legs will tend to have proportionately long fingers, whereas shorter people will tend to have proportionately short fingers.

Picture in your mind, a stereotypical wise man; a thinker, a sage, or a philosopher. Isn’t he likely to resemble a tall, wiry wizard like Gandalf. The shorter sausage fingered Dwarves of J.R.R. Tolkien’s imagination are far less prone to navel gazing, and prefer action to long drawn out thought processes.

Meanwhile back in the real world, Consultants are tall, willowy, long fingered and very comfortably inhabit the realm of thought and future possibility, while those who prefer getting on and doing things tend to be shorter, physically stronger and more rugged, and naturally inhabit the realm of hands-on action.

So small people have small hands, and big people have big hands. If you meet someone who has disproportionately small hands, and this is something you will notice if you start paying attention when you shake hands with people, then you should expect someone intense, impatient, and somewhat manic. They will thrive in situations where there is no time to think, instead they use their gut reactions to guide their decision-making. They like to act on their instincts, and are extremely unlikely to think things through to the finer details, relying on others around them to do their ‘due diligence’ for them.

If you meet someone with disproportionately big hands, they will be the extreme in the other direction. They will have very well established thought processes, and will be seen as ‘deep’ slow and interested in the finer details. Though they are good with details, they do not react well to crises, needing time to gather themselves before responding.

So, the next time you meet someone, have a feel for the person you are dealing with, and see if you can’t tailor your communication approach accordingly for a more satisfying encounter.

For more insight into people either via their hands or their body language I recommend the following books, available from Amazon (click on the covers to go to the page)

The Definitive Book to Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease

The Spellbinding Power of Palmistry – Johnny Fincham

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Feeling good, Parenting

The Children have Come to Teach Us

As we get older, allegedly wiser, but usually more hardened and resistant to life, we often find ourselves becoming parents. There is a welcome injection of youthful vibrance into the mix, which helps us to lighten up significantly and put things into perspective. Continue reading

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