Why most self-help books are Not very Helpful

The bookshelves (and more recently the internet) are awash with self-help literature which is, quite literally, missing the point entirely.

They aim to give people directions regarding what they should doto improve their lives. The authors of these texts are well-meaning in their aims, and I would certainly never label any book written a waste of time, after all life is a long experience of personal realisation not a single peak event, and realisations come slowly, but the majority are based on two false premises:

  1. If you do this action, you will get this result
  2. By focussing on the problem, you can reach a solution.

The issue with an action based approach to life is it misses out the factor which matters most; inspiration.

Inspiration comes from within, and it is an individual experience, tailored to the receiver of the inspiration. The reason inspiration is individual, is that each and every person is an individual living their own interpretation of ‘life on planet earth’. There are many things outside of us, but to be perceived by an individual, they must be filtered through that individual’s beliefs and their capacity to understand, and let’s not forget our interests and desires. See How your brain Works

It worked for Me so it will work for You

If John Smith decided to eat this diet and take this action and achieved these results, he might reasonably expect that if other people followed his example, that they too would receive similar results. But he would be wrong.

If life were as simple as that, we wouldn’t need politicians, and there would be one book called “The manual of success in life”. It would be a very large tome, more of a Magnum Opus. Do this, and you will affect this. Oh, and everybody would be rich, healthy, successful, and living joyful lives with wonderful life partners.

But as we know, what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. Action is only part of what makes up the creation process. The thoughts, beliefs and physical characteristics of the individual all come into play.

Self-inspired Action

A better way to achieve an outcome is to visualise the event having occurred, and then receive individual guidance in the form of inspiration from within about the most appropriate behaviour to achieve it. Start with a feeling at the epicentre and go on from there.

We are all inspired from our state of being, even if we aren’t aware that we are. If we feel fat, we tend to perpetuate the actions which will continue those state of affairs, with a ‘who cares’ attitude as we munch down another packet of low-fat crisps.

Or if we feel slim, we tend to be more careful with what we eat. If we feel whole, we don’t tend to look to external things to bolster our sense of lack; like food, drink, drugs, sex, buying more stuff, adrenaline, etc etc etc the list goes on and on, and the advertising industry is there to pick up the slack, selling you not a product, but an improved emotional state.

We ‘act out’ our internal state of being. If we feel joyful, it is obvious to the world, especially the world which doesn’t feel joyful and would like the joyful one to, ahem ‘go away’.

Conversely if we feel in deep emotional pain, we can just as easily act out this state of being to the world. You cannot help but be authentic in your mood. It all starts and ends with the way the individual feels.

Our personal development, our realisation of our own brilliance really starts to take off once we decide to take responsibility for our own lives and everything that has happened to us along the way, the good and the bad.

When we take responsibility, we realise that we are in charge, even if we have been making a dog’s breakfast of managing our lives, at least we have the power to do something about it. This is infinitely better that somebody else apportioning the well-being; politicians, your boss, your parents, or your partner.

So the next time something takes your eye, the next time somebody is trying to sell you something, ask yourself how you are feeling when you consider whether or not to get involved.

Do you feel on top of the world? Does this feels like something wonderful? Or are you desperate, feeling a lack and hoping that this thing will fill a hole? If you’re feeling rotten, the chances are that any action you take when feeling rotten will only make you feel more rotten, such is the nature of inspiration. If you feel rotten, get yourself feeling better again and then wait for good feeling inspiration and act upon that.

You know what is good for you, but in order to hear the calm quiet voice within, you need to get yourself into a good feeling state (where your inner being exists), and then you can hear the inspiration as it flows.

It’s not about buying this book, or that car, or going here for a week to see this guru, or depriving yourself of this food. Everything you need to get where you want to go, you already have within you, you just need to find a way to get yourself into a better feeling space.

People want to sell you their products, and we are all conditioned to see buying things as an easy way to solve our problems. Why would I choose to change my diet, to eat nutritious wholesome foods which benefit my body and which make me feel good when I can spend £50 on these new Goji Berry diet pills, and continue to eat junk?

Or why would I acknowledge my own chaotic mind and negative internal dialogue when I can go to a doctor and ask him to chop bits off me that seem to be causing me issues?

There is no ‘Bottom’

The crux is that the universe is attraction based. If you give your attention to something, you just get more of it. So if you give your attention to a problem, you are going to get more of it. This is the reason that therapy is never-ending, and it only teaches you one thing; how to be a therapist. You can hardly blame them. After spending that much money and getting nowhere, you want to get some kind of return on your investment, don’t you?

If you want to live something different, you need to give your attention to something else, the solution, or what you do want, and you know what that is, having lived what you don’t want.

Some people are always looking for closure, they seek to get to the bottom of things. Well, I’ve got news for you; there is no bottom. It just gets worse and worse and worse and worse, and the more you dig the more crap you uncover.

If you want things to change, you need to change what you are giving your attention to, and that means no more focussing on the problems, those painful things that have never felt good to us the first time, and have never felt good since and never will feel good. Drop it, and move on.

Why most Self-Help books are not very helpful - individualrealities.com

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