If there was once simple phrase which summed up how to get what you want in life, it would be:
Focus on what you want, until you get it
Many people scoff at the simplicity of such a statement. “If life was really that easy, why would we all be going out and working our nuts off to pay the extortionate mortgage on a tiny place, just managing to make ends meet. If it was as simple as that wouldn’t we all be living in castles in the lap of luxury.”
The answer is always the same. In that last statement, what are you focussing upon more? The daily struggle to make ends meet, or living in that castle in the lap of luxury? I suspect the former.
People come up with all sorts of excuses, but at the end of the day they cannot get around the fact that you get what you think about, and if they’re not getting what they want, then they need to focus upon what they want, and stop focussing on reality. Unless reality is what they want, in which case they should continue to focus upon that.
Get these 6 Roadblocks out of the Way
There are a number of things which get in your way when you are trying to focus on what you want.
- Reality: If your reality sucks, it’s pretty hard to focus on what you want. It can be done, but you need to act fast before you’re all tangled up in negative thoughts and resentment. Saying something like “OK, it’s clear from how I feel that I’m focussing on something I don’t want. What is it I do want, and Why do I want it?” can help to get your focus turned around ( see Why do you Want what you Want? )
- You’re too Objective: This one is a biggie. For some ridiculous reason, we are trained as youngsters to look at both sides of a situation. If we demonstrate a preference, we are not allowed to just state our preference and the reason why we want it. Instead, we are required to talk about the other side of everything. I call the function of being objective ‘deliberately scattering your focus’. Once you understand the Law of Attraction, you recognise more and more the futility of being objective. Everybody is right, in the sense that they get what they focus upon, so why the constant discussions around ‘what causes this’ or ‘what leads to that’, or assessing the ‘pro’s and the con’s’. Just decide what you want, and focus upon it. A funny example of this is in the game of politics, where political parties often spend more time talking about their opponents; the reasons why people shouldn’t vote for them, than they do actually talking about what they stand for, and in doing so they actually help the other party win.
- You’re being Too Specific: If you’ve wanted something for a long time, often aiming straight for that thing with determination and focus is not going to bring it any time soon. The reason is an emotional one. In all of these examples, I am using words to paint a picture, but what really matters is the emotions of the individual. That is, their feelings about the words they are reading, writing or speaking. If you are saying “I am a rich man with 7 Ferraris, a 10 bedroom mansion in Mayfair and I am married to a supermodel, but the reality of your life is you ride a Honda C90 step-through, live at home with your parents in Luton and you’ve never even kissed a girl let alone had sex with one, saying those things doesn’t make you feel them. You are pretty far away from your goal, and thinking about it is probably just annoying. In this scenario, the more generally you talk about your life as you want it to be emotionally, as you deal with each scenario, the more things can progress in the right direction. Rather than focussing on the specifics, focus on the emotions that you want those specifics to bring you (see How does it feel?)
- You lack the ability to Focus: Modern life is a quite a focus minefield. There are so many things calling for our attention, that very often the old-fashioned activities fall by the wayside. I am talking about mobiles, the internet, TV, Blu-ray boxsets, sports, entertainment, media, computer games etc. We have more choice now than ever before, and we have more distractions than ever before. Because we have instant access to information, we are all glued to our mobile phones, googling at the dinner table and reading the morning papers in bed on our iPhones. If you want to return to the state where you had the ability to focus on something for longer than 30 seconds, I recommend you give meditation a try. Learning to quiet the mind helps immeasurably to improve your focus, as well as calming an excitable mind down.
- You accept limitations that are not there: When you look out into the world and you see someone who is successful, what do you think? That they are lucky? That they have been given an unfair advantage? That they are beautiful? That they have been sleeping with the boss? Whatever reason you may give, that individual brought themselves to a place where they expected to succeed. It may have been a multitude of factors, some of which you may be aware of, but they still had to focus on what they wanted until they expected it to come. Perhaps your parents were very encouraging, and you went into the world with self-belief and a sense of ‘everything works out for me’, and so it did. Perhaps you noticed when you were young that people responded amicably to your natural beauty, and so you used that as a tool to get what you wanted in life. Perhaps your natural intelligence, and ability to make people laugh was what helped you to influence people. Perhaps you were trained into beliefs which didn’t help. Get over it. You have the power to realise whatever you want, but you need to focus. Everyone plays the hand they were dealt, and they have a lot more power than they realise. Focus on what you want, and don’t accept any false limitations, because they are of your own making, and needn’t play a part in your life.
- You don’t acknowledge the Good that is There: Most people expect their lives to go well to some extent, and often don’t make the correlation between what they have been thinking and what has been coming to them in life. “I wanted this thing, I saw an ad in the paper, and so I went out a bought it. What’s the big deal”. Try taking your foot off the accelerator. Let the universe bring you what you want. Focus on what it is you want, and why you want it, and let the universe do the work for you. We all believe that our talents are worth something to somebody, and we expect to be paid for those talents and make a living, but how hard we try to justify ourselves, when the natural flow is there to give us everything we want, and it wants use to have it more than we want it for ourselves. Appreciate the good things that do show up, and more will come.
Start off with little things, and then work your way up to bigger things. It is not any harder to create a big thing, than a little thing. Things that you call ‘big’ you have more resistance about, and therefore less expectation. Think about lowering your resistance.
Start off manifesting things which aren’t that important to you, like a new chair for your lounge, or a decent tennis racket, a barbecue or a patio heater. Focus on the state of being that you would feel as if you already have those things in your life.
To quote the wonderful book The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles:
See the things you want as if they were actually around you all the time. See yourself as owning and using them. Make use of them in imagination just as you will use them when they are your tangible possessions. Dwell upon your mental picture until it is clear and distinct, and then take the mental attitude of ownership toward everything in that picture. Take possession of it, in mind, in the full faith that it is actually yours. Hold to this mental ownership. Do not waiver for an instant in the faith that it is real.
If you haven’t yet received the things you want, it is because you have not achieved the state of being which allows you to receive them. You need to feel as though you already have them, before they can come to you. If it feels like a ‘miracle’, or it feels like a ‘big deal’ (like winning the lottery jackpot), you’re probably not going to be living it any time soon.