A life of pain is no fun. Some people who find themselves at the extremes of negative emotional pain choose to check out of life early.
We all want things in life; physical things like money, relationships, jobs, houses, and cars. But we want all of these things because we think (really we know) that they will make us feel better.
Instead of waiting until you have all of the things you want before you feel better, why not feel better now?
It may sound strange, but you really can feel good regardless of what is going on around you. In fact, to put it another way, until you can find a way of feeling better regardless of what is going on around you, nothing in your life will change very much for the better.
OK, you’ve convinced me. I want to feel better than I do, but where do I start?
Here are ten things you can practice on a daily basis to keep yourself in as good a feeling place as possible.
1. Wind down your Day
Wind down the end of your day in a gentle, easy, relaxed way. Avoid the news, avoid any drama whether in books, TV, movies or in your domestic environment. Do whatever you can do to feel as relaxed and calm as you can before turning your lights off.
Watch some comedy, read a book that you find uplifting, or lie in bed and listen to some relaxing soothing music. As you are getting ready to fall asleep, congratulate yourself for things well done today, or if you can’t find anything specific to focus upon, or if thinking about your day feels bad, just focus very generally on things in your immediate vicinity; Focus upon your bed, on its comfort, the softness of the sheets, or the smell of the bed linen. Focus upon your pillow. Appreciate your glass of water which is benefitting your body.
Working your way up from the tips of your toes to the crown of your head, consciously relax all of the muscles in your body until you feel like you are floating, almost detached from the physical world. Drift off in a state of bliss and you will have a really good night sleep.
2. You awake every day as a New Person
Every morning as we awake back into our bodies, we are literally reborn. We start off every day as new individuals, with new hopes and expectations, and if we could maintain that state of clarity we have as we come to, the world would start to respond to us in new ways as soon as now.
Sleeping is like pushing the Reset Button. It resets your radio tuner and your momentum of thought attraction is slowed to a crawl. This is the moment where you get to decide what you will tune yourself into today.
Will it be something new, expansive and progressive, or are you going to take the lazy route and pick up where you left off yesterday? Do you want to feel powerful, and excited about the many opportunities that you will come across in your life today, or are you going to complain about something that in the grand scheme of things is irrelevant?
who you really are is a much greater, more expanded individual that you are often allowing yourself to be.
I admit, it can be a little tough when you are faced with the cold hard reality of your life to think otherwise, but if feeling good is your top priority, you can do it.
There is the small issue of your family, your job, the many people and objects around you that remind you of ‘who you are’. But ‘who you really are’ is a much greater, more expanded individual that you are often allowing yourself to be.
We often write ourselves off as being this or being that, self deprecating ourselves when we should be bigging ourselves up. If you feel great about yourself, you will have a great life.
Do you see those children at school who are so full of self-confidence that you just know from your experience that they are going to succeed in life. Instead of celebrating their egoistic, single minded nature, people (usually feeling less than wonderful about themselves) call them arrogant, cocky or spoiled.
But you wake up feeling like this every day, full of yourself, and excited about all of the infinite possibilities which lie ahead for you.
You are clear minded until you say to yourself things like; “Oh, I remember. I’m confused”, or “Oh, I remember, I’m poor and nobody likes me”. In so doing you start your day off in the usually manner, and attract the usual mediocre life.
When you awake into your new fresh morning, having gone to sleep in a state of bliss as you drifted off, your day is about to start, and the decisions you make at the outset will set the tone for the rest of your day.
Every moment that you are conscious, you are thinking, and your mind is like a radio tuner set; transmitting and receiving thoughts. If you start off thinking positively, your mind will attract thoughts which are similar throughout the day. Not only thoughts, but words, and eventually actions which match the tone of those early thoughts.
If you feel rotten, you’re not going to make very good decisions. Ever been feeling bad, and thought that you could do something to make it better, only to find anything you tried only made things worse?
This is a perfect example of Law of Attraction at play. You’re in a negative spiral and your instinct tells you to just stop and go home, go to sleep and push the reset button. You know more than you realise, and your thoughts are inspired.
Conversely, you see people who are feeling great a lot of the time, and they seem to get away with saying and doing things that most people would never get away with. They swan their way through life, continually landing on their feet, and just waltz from one fantastic opportunity to the next.
Look around you in the world, there are many examples of these types of people; feeling great, doing exactly what they want and usually making a lot of money in the process as they play their way through life.
If you’re struggling to act your way out of a bad feeling situation, you probably hate people like this, as they exhibit a life that you want for yourself but have no idea how to accomplish.
Well, now you know why, and you know what you can do about it. Get yourself feeling fun, and full of yourself, and you can breeze through life in a similar state of grace.
It all starts in the morning, and every morning you have a fresh, clean slate from which to start your life anew. What are you going to do with your new day?
3. Meditate Daily
For many years I ran around a bit like a headless chicken, The months and years came and went along with the passing seasons, and I wasn’t even aware. It wasn’t really fair. As a child, I had ants in my pants, and with no real outlet for this energy, I was like a caged animal at the zoo; I think enrolling me to a dance school would have been a good move, but alas the education system at the time was purely academic + sports, and sports was never artistic enough for me. Had I been a child in school nowadays they would probably have labelled me ADD and medicated me.
It wasn’t just my body that was all over the place, my head was a similar state of fuzz. It wasn’t until I started to try to quieten my mind in meditation that I realised quite how crazy my thoughts were. In the clear space that meditation gave me, I saw that I had existed in an almost perpetual state of drama and adrenaline; rushing from one emergency to the next. Once I started to quiet my mind, to really slow things down, I managed to harness my mind for the first time in my life.
Meditation is great because it gives us a chance to slow our attraction down, and to learn how to focus our minds, a tool which is useful later to focus upon things that are important to us; practicing unconditional love.
If your thoughts create your reality, you want to be able to direct those thoughts towards things which matter to you. If you are just getting into the subject of meditation, have a look at How to Meditate.
When you meditate, and you stop your thoughts (as much as that is possible) you connect with your inner-self and your bright fantastic future. Many people are afraid of meditation, seeing it as something spooky or weird. When in fact it is one of the most natural things you can do.
The other benefit of meditating regularly is that every time you do it, you are progressively raising your vibration, your awareness of the world and your sensitivity to your emotions. For example, if you meditate for 15 minutes a day for a whole year, you will not be able to watch the SAW trilogy. It will be like going to the dentist and having root canal surgery without anaesthetic. Not fun.
4. Avoid the News
When I first heard someone suggesting that I avoid the negativity of the world by choosing to avoid the news, I struggled with the idea. Like many, I had been trained over the years that I needed to be informed. The media had me in the palm of its hand, and I was just waiting to lap up the next terror story they fed me. I cannot blame the media. If I chose to watch or read the media, then they will continue to feed me stories.
It was uncomfortable at first, the thought that I might be missing out on something important, but after a few weeks of deliberately avoiding the TV news, newspapers (especially those ‘free’ ones), I saw that my life didn’t fall apart, in fact I felt better. I continued my experiment.
To my surprise, my life improved. As someone who was addicted to drama, it took me a while to kick my news habit, but I managed it. I said to myself. “If there is something out there which is important for me to know, I will be made aware of it” and left it at that.
The majority of the news (the majority of life really) has nothing to do with you, it has no bearing on your life whatsoever, unless you choose to give it your attention. Equally politics is largely irrelevant, and if you look around you at the people who are doing well in life, they really don’t waste any of their focus of attention on things such as politics. If you have the ability to focus on (and appreciate) whatever you want, so why would you choose to give your power to politicians? Politics is a dog and pony show, let the politicians play Punch & Judy, leave them to it, and focus upon what you want in life.
The title of this website; individualrealities.com reflects the sentiment that we are each individuals who are perceiving, but we perceive individually, in fact we construct our own perception of reality based upon the frequencies that we tune into with our thoughts. As such, we may all be walking around together on planet earth, but we are all living very different lives, based upon our ability to perceive.
Have you ever lost something, and then found it right in front of your eyes (I do it all the time). In your belief: “I can’t find my keys” in that moment they have literally disappeared from your reality. As far as you are concerned anyway, as you cannot see them. This is a simplistic example, but it makes the point. And so it is with the other things in life that we want; money, love, power, fulfilment. They are all there in front of our noses, but our hindering beliefs prevent us from realising them.
5. Watch more Comedy
Giving your attention to things that make you laugh, whatever your sense of humour, is a great way to lift your spirits. The brand of humour that you like will not stay static, it will be forever changing as you grow and develop as a joyful human being.
Don’t look to buy endless boxsets of comedy (unless it is the complete series of Seinfeld which is eternal comedy and a great investment), sign up to Netflix and trawl your way through things that tickle your fancy. I bought the entire boxsets of the BBC classic The League of Gentlemen , which is some seriously dark comedy that somehow made it onto the Beeb in the late nineties. It is brilliant observational humour, but I have changed a lot since then. It was funny at the time, but I will not be watching it again. Dark comedy. Very funny, and very un-PC.
Have you heard stories about people who were diagnosed with terminal illnesses, who took to medicating themselves with comedy in large doses, meanwhile their bodies healed themselves? In the absence of the thoughts of “I’m going to die”, the body found its way to the natural wellness that was always there.
Your cells know what to do, they manage to keep your body in balance despite your often strange lifestyles. But as the captain of the ship, your thoughts will lead the way. Get your negativity out of the way and let your body do what it does best. See You are only as Old as you Feel.
6. Drink more water
60% of your body is made of water. The cells in your body communicate with each other through this medium of water. You know they say ‘don’t mix electricity and water’? Well that’s because water is a good conductor of electricity, and as your body is electricity, all the cells (the words chosen are not a coincidence by the way) talk to each other electrochemically, and the better the state of aqueous saturation, the better they can communicate, and the more vital and alive you feel.
If you had an army of soldiers at your command, and they were all hungover and dehydrated, do you think they would form a good band of men? The same thing goes for your cells. Get them in a good physical state and they will perform much better; your metabolism (people have stated than drinking water alone was helped them to lose weight); your agility; balance; mental acuity; your sense of wellbeing and of how good you feel in your body. It all sets the tone for everything else that comes to you.
Don’t set yourself a target of how much water you should drink every day, but when your body thirsts, and your cells will tell you when they want water, give them water rather than juice or fizzy pop or tea or coffee. Sometimes we (I) can get into a spiral with tea. I drink tea (which is a diuretic) which makes me thirstier and so I drink more tea which makes me thirstier and on and on it goes. Our bodies want water. Make a note of it darling.
7. Move your body more
Take your forefinger and run it over the palm of your hand. What does your skin feel like? Is is silky smooth, it is a bit more papery, or does it feel grainier or even coarse like sandpaper?
The hand, according to palm readers is the gateway to your state of being. The skin is the boundary between your physical body and the outside world. Thin delicate skin indicates a more sensitive soul, where grainier or coarser skin indicates a more physically rugged nature, and a more physically based existence. If you have silky skin you are more akin to mental pursuits, if you have more rough hands, your natural domain is a physical one.
For you grainier handed people, moving your body should be a daily activity. You need to work out, run, walk, or dance regularly to balance your energy. If you are blessed with a child who cannot sit still, get them enrolled into some kind of activity where they can express themselves physically, and they will ‘behave’ more when asked (see: is your child a thinker or a dancer?).
Unfortunately for many of us, our education system led us down a path of academia. We were asked to sit still at our desks when we really should have been moving about more. The world of education is always improving however, and nowadays you can train in a more physical career, one of dance or physical performance arts, or perhaps something involving the great outdoors.
When you move your body, you cause yourself to breathe more deeply. Exercise forces us to breathe more deeply because we need the oxygen for our cells. In truth we could derive the same benefit of exercise by sitting down and consciously breathing deeply, and we would achieve similar results. When we breathe deeply we invigorate and oxygenate the deepest depths of our physical bodies and benefit them in great ways.
The air we breathe is not beneficial purely for the oxygen it contains, it also holds the life force than we inspire every time we take a breath. This is why when you stop breathing, you stop living.
8. Get outside more
There is nothing that takes you away from the negative specifics of your life quicker than going outside, preferably right into nature. We have come from nature, and when we return to it (I don’t mean die, I mean go for a walk outside), we find ourselves soothed; reconnecting with our source of well-being and of life. If you live in a city, find a park or an open space and walk or run there and breathe in the fresh air the trees and grass and shrubs have filtered for you. Sit by the river and watch the ducks and wildfowl.
If you live in the countryside, you may become accustomed to the warmth of your cottage, or the climatically controlled cabin of your car, but you will almost always be better off spending some time outside on a daily basis.
Out there, life is general. When you look upon an oak tree which is over 500 years old, it does help to put the wellbeing of life on planet earth, and your place in it, into some reasonable perspective. Never mind what politician said what about another politician, this is the stuff which really matters. This is life, and life is good, and strong and sure and the well-being is huge whether we are here or not.
9. Take time for yourself to do things which are purely Fun
Do you remember being a frisky young child. Eager to get out and play just for the fun of it? Well you can have those feelings again, if you’re prepared to stop taking yourself so seriously.
Have you ever seen a child that was just having so much fun, and the parent (who was having a miserable time) tried to cut short the child’s fun, but the child just wasn’t having any of it, and was playing and teasing the adult until the adult cracked and started to have fun too?
It is like watching a battle of the Vibes. Whoever has the strongest vibe wins. If the grumpy one is really grumpy and the happy one wants to please the grumpy one, he will sacrifice his happiness and drop to the level of the grumpy one.
But often the happy, teasing, playful child dominates the vibration and sweeps the adult up into his world, if only for a moment.
Have more fun moments. Remind yourself that there’s nothing serious going on here. Reconnect with your fun self that you once were, and that they have tried to train out of you. Adults are just bigger, wiser kids.
Sit down and write a list of things that you like doing. Things which you find fun in doing. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about it. If you enjoy volunteering at the local miniature steam railway, take the time to do it, and do it proudly. Embrace who you are and what you like to do. If you enjoy carving wood sculptures, or watching football on the TV, make it your priority to do things which you find fun every day.
You may get some funny looks from people, and your other half may wonder when you’re going to grow up; to which you can reply, “hopefully never”. It’s not their life, it’s your life, and your very happiness depends upon it.
More than a list of activities, think about the feelings that you enjoy? Do you like to focus, do you enjoy using your body in a physical way, or are you more sensual in your appreciation of life? Do you enjoy nature, plants and the great outdoors? Do you like mechanics, arts and crafts and food and drink, or are movies and books your thing? Do you enjoy writing? Do you like to listen to live jazz music? Find a local club and patronise it.
Write a list of things that you enjoy doing and take the time to do more of them every day.
I have left the best one till last. If I could give you one tip for a wonderful life it would be to foster a state of appreciation.
Appreciation is the key to a wonderful life (write that down). If you accept that you get what you think about (and if you’ve read this far, I expect you have an inkling that this may well be the order of the day) then whatever we give our attention to, will get bigger.
This is what appreciation is; Attention to a subject. We call appreciation positive, but there is such a thing as negative appreciation, only it feels bad rather than good.
Whatever you give your attention to is becoming more. You are voting for, feeding, sponsoring, the thoughts notions and ideas that you take the time to think every day.
If you have little, and you appreciate the little that you have, more will come. If you have nothing and you appreciate that life on planet earth is truly good, and that we are provided for in many ways, and there is an abundance of wellbeing in the world, you are appreciating and your life will get better.
If you have a reasonable amount, but you berate yourself, you curse yourself or your situation as not being enough, if you are observing your dwindling bank account as the money drains away, you are appreciating poverty or not-enough and so attracting that state of being to yourself.
Every day, take a sheet of A4 paper and a pen which is nice to write with, and sit down ideally when you are in a good feeling mood (after meditation), and write things which you appreciate. Don’t force it, let the ideas start off as general ones, and gradually build up to more specific things as Law of Attraction brings more similar thoughts.
Start off by saying something like. ‘Life is good’. Or ‘The sun came up this morning, that is a good thing’. Find things, easy things to appreciate, or identify an object in your environment which is easy to appreciate and let the thoughts flow until you have covered both sides of your page. You will find yourself singing in a high fast vibration.
If you really want to focus unconditionally, break it down even further. Rather than focussing on things, focus upon emotions.
I like the feeling of being clever. I appreciate the cleverness of my mind, and the timing I have, and I really enjoy it when I get things in a way that I just know clearly what to do. I enjoy the clarity of mind, knowing my purpose and I like knowing that I get more and more clear minded every day. I love feeling like I know what to do, and I enjoy the situations where someone comes to me because I am clear minded, and I can offer them the benefit of my clarity.
There is nothing at all specific about the statement above, but it does feel good if you focus upon something in your life that you appreciate, and that you want (like your bank balance) to appreciate.
Feeling good feels good, but it is not a state that is achieved and maintained forever. You don’t get a certificate to hang on the wall. You are either feeling good or not feeling good in any moment in time, and whether you feel good or bad is up to you, and it is always down to your focus. Take that fact and own it.
If you have made the decision to feel good. If you have lived enough life where you haven’t felt good and wanted to, use these 10 exercises on a daily basis to keep yourself feeling as good as you can feel today.
You will slip back into the darkness, we all do, but it’s not the end of the world. Remind yourself that you know what to do to get yourself feeling good again. And remember to give yourself a break, it will pass eventually.
10 Easy steps to Feel Better - individualrealities.com