The most important characteristic which helps individuals in achieving a satisfying and enjoyable life is their ability to be consistently selfish. Selfishness has a bad rap. But in reality we cannot be anything but selfish, because we decide and operate from the basis of self interest.
Along the way, someone worked out if they called you selfish and disapproved of your ‘selfish’ behaviour, they could get you to act in their best interests instead of their own, thereby fil filling their selfish nature. You cannot blame them for trying, but you don’t have to go along with it any more.
As young children we are innately selfish, and we are usually allowed to be selfish by our care-givers in those early days, such is the nature of our dependence on them, and their willingness to fulfill our needs.
Every single human being comes to planet earth to carve out a life for themselves. There is some predestination, but it is mainly concerning the fundamentals; that life will be fun, that we are powerful individuals with the ability to be, do, or have anything we decide we want to experience.
The rest, as they say, we can work out as we go along. Our specific tastes, our decisions about things that we prefer, clothing, personal lifestyles, people, and ultimately where we decide to focus our thoughts, and the results which follow are all gathered once we get here.
Many people look to a cruel God, and ask “How could you let this happen?”. The answer is simple, as someone who knew your power, you wouldn’t have it any other way. Your thoughts create your life, and you alone are in charge of thinking your thoughts. As long as you have the ability to think, you can create any life you want for yourself.
The selfishness bit comes into play when we make decisions by living life, and then are called to the fulfilment of those desires. A truly selfish individual would be given the blessing of its loving and healthily detached parents, spouses, friends etc to fulfil their life’s purpose. But most of the time, they don’t follow the calling, they don’t go.
Most of us are trained as youngsters that we need to do what makes others happy, it starts with our parents and caregivers, when we start to demonstrate our own preferences, and those preferences clash with what our parents feel is acceptable behaviour.
We need to behave to please those around us, because they are not capable of feeling good unless we ‘behave’ in a way that they have deemed ‘good’.
But by bit we lose the trail of our own self fulfilment and start looking outside of ourselves for guidance. This is a path that doesn’t lead to self actualisation but to anger and resentment and in the end, a wasted life.
If you want to benefit those in your family, teach them unconditional love, and teach the that they too can live unconditionally. Follow your path, seek your joy, your desires, your satisfaction.
You can certainly make the most of where you are by appreciating what you have, and therefore making it more, but when you hear the calling, you have to follow your desires if you are going to be happy.
You are not here to please your parents, your girlfriend, wife, husband, children, teachers or friends. You are here to live a fun, joyful live of your own choosing, and to do that you need to practice being selfish.
Once you get there, you’re happy, following your own joy, you can also benefit those you love. But if you sacrifice your joy to please others your resentment will make you ineffectual, and of no benefit to a single other human being.
Everyone is selfishly motivated, it can be no other way. The most selfish are the most effective, because they are aligned with their total self, and not taking others desires into account.